Journal no. 3

Soredemo, Ikite Yuku (watch with subtitles)

それでも、生きてゆく

in a tragic back story full of regret, despair and guilt, 2 people fall in love.
a bit like Romeo and Juliet, except the guy's little sister got murdered 15 years ago and the girl's brother was the high schooler who killed her.
two families thrown into turmoil, one of the victim and the other the assailant.

this japanese drama from 2011 (Soredemo, Ikite Yuku : even so, i'll keep living) tells the story from the two families who have to live with this terrible and painful past.
for 15 years they lived doing the best they can with the lot they have. the assailant's family live together like a normal family, as if they can cut off ties with the boy, enduring curses and harassment from others. the victim's family broke up and store up their grieve and pain under a thin facade, the mother misdirecting her anger at the father who could not get over the loss. she left him so she could live anew, while knowing the thin line between self-righteous stoic living and suicidal despair. everyone is living as normally as they could, until the victim's father's last days, when he thinks he will meet his daughter in heaven, and he reveals his desire for revenge by wanting to find the murderer to kill him. he passes on what he found about the murderer to his son and dies.
that was the start that led to everyone slowly starting to take difficult steps to understanding and doing something about their regret, despair and guilt.

the main actors who play the guy (Eita) and the girl (Mitsushima Hikari) are fantastic because i could believe them and love them as they grew to come to terms with their past. they faced their problems head on and didn't run away from them.
the actress (Mitsushima Hikari) stands out especially because her transformation was unstable and emotional although her character was strangely naive yet straight forward. she was naive in that she still loved her brother, had fierce love for her family, was straight forward in her cute awkward dialogue, but yet behind this was a deep sadness because she also knew her brother was a dangerous killer and that she was tired of putting up a strong front. the actress handled this conflicting sides of the character really well.

and the victim's mother (Otake Shinobu) is another stand out. she hid herself from her family and was cold to the husband she divorced and the son who lived with him because that was the wall she put up to separate herself from the past. the actress does not have much screen time to show the process of how the wall breaks down, but when she does, she can express dramatic tension so well and i am amazed at her acting skills.
she slowly came to terms with her fears as the mother of a murdered child, told her new family about the unbearable pain of living a lie, went to live with her son, made peace with her late ex-husband, confronted the murderer, talked honestly with the family of the murderer and was finally able to come to terms with her own grief. the part where she attacked the murderer was so brilliant because of the nuanced control of her acting. she had to pretend to be civil to him to protect her daughter-in-law because she led the murderer to her house. then she released her anger at him, it was irrational and believable because you could imagine a mother animal without fear or regard for her safety, directly venting her frustration and hatred at a dangerous man, while knowing that it was hopeless and she may well be killed by him. this determination to demand answers for why her daughter was murdered, like the determination to confront reality, is the thread that connects her so closely with the quest for redemption that is shared by the main characters.

the creators of the drama know this and executed this story almost flawlessly. the pace and mood and look of the drama - all the elements came together so well.
like reading a good story, you go away knowing more about people, and life. strengths, weakness, sadness and happiness, even if it has no obvious meaning, being alive is something you do but also something you can't control. this active and passive aspect makes living hopeful and yet subjects us to pain and suffering. by showing how people can take action to change the course of their lives, i realise that i should also do the same.