Archive for 2020

baby's stats

duration of gestation: 37 weeks

weight at birth: 2489 gm

length at birth: 47.0cm

head circumference: 33.0cm

crying: high pitched but cute

hair situation: has nice hair

eyelids: monolid

skin: red

smell: none

area of pride: long fingers

area of concern: feet are curved in

handling: too heavy for me especially with c-section wound and needle in back of hand. 

feeding: determined to make breast feeding work. working hard on getting colostrum in the syringe, and getting used to suckle - his mouth is big, thankfully

baby is born!

my baby was delivered at 37 weeks through an emergency c-section. thankfully he was fine and so am I. 

1. A Thoughtful Doctor

during a routine morning check-up at 37 weeks, the lady doctor asked if I had any concerns, and I mentioned that the baby kicked less often (under the subsidy scheme, we see a different doctor every time we visit, so it was her first time seeing us). she immediately wanted to follow up on that although we didn't think much of it as I thought it was common for babies to move less when they have less space as they grow larger. i think she guesstimated something might be up due to my age because she was saying how placentas might not work well. 

then she checked the baby's heartbeat by putting a microphone on my belly - it seemed fine. she asked if i wanted to have a ultrasound to see the baby - as i was on the subsidy scheme, ultrasounds were not included in the later term checkups - i decided to play safe and do it. it was another few hours of waiting and i texted my manager that i would be extending my morning leave to a full-day leave.

after the ultrasound, we waited for the scans to be reviewed by the doctor. it was already 12pm when she came out to tell us that the amniotic liquid was dangerously low, so we should take our lunch and then go to admissions ward.

2. You Ate Lunch?

we ate at the KKH foodcourt (i had vegetarian beehoon) and went to check in at the admissions ward around 1pm. i had already decided to go for the C class ward to avoid unnecessary fees so husband helped sorted that out when i was admitted - i.e. follow nurse instructions to change into gown, remove all jewelry, lie on bed, wait for further instructions.

husband arrived. nurse hooked my belly up to a heart-beat monitoring device - it was observed that baby's heart rate was erratic over 30 minutes. doctor A and B arrived (different doctors from the one in the morning). doctor A was a fresh-faced male doctor, and B was a no-nonsense lady doctor. they checked that i wasn't dilated via finger in vagina. then asked what i wanted for the delivery since it seemed best to either induce or have a c-section. doctor B said it might not be good go for natural birth which may take hours since baby wasn't doing so well, so i said okay i just follow your recommendation, let's just do the c-section. i wasn't ready for it but i didn't want to be in labour for hours, especially since my cervix was still shut and it was very likely it take very very long to open.

nurse shaved me. doctor A asked if i had any food. i said yes 1 hour ago. he was shocked! i didn't know then but usually anesthesia side-effects include puking so i may choke on puke. anyway he said he would try to arrange for a later slot so the food would settle. he ended doing my c-section at 4.30pm. 

3. A Small Baby

c-section went well, baby was delivered at 5pm. the epidural was accurately administered - i did my best to hug my belly, curve my spine and keep still. i laid there looking at a blue sheet and only felt like a bedsheet being pulled vigorously in various directions. there wasn't much sound or speaking. my mind was blank - i was suppressing my anxious nervousness. but then they said excitedly that the baby was out, congratulations! and they checked him and he cried, then they put him on my body. i was stunned and didn't react much but thought i should act like how i think they wanted me to, so i stroked his head quietly. it was alien to me still, not registered that my baby was out in the world.





4. Complications

they took the baby away for cleaning and i was relieved i didn't have to awkwardly have a baby on my chest in the operating room. i was wheeled into the post-surgery recovery holding area, where they monitored by heart rate, blood pressure, etc. the kind senior nurse took care of me, changing my bloody pad as i was still numb from the epidural. it was supposed to be a "when you can wiggle your toes, you can go to your ward" but my blood pressure was very high and refused to go down and they kept asking if i was anxious or nervous, but i wasn't. so i remained there for the longest time, and observed the other mummies who just delivered there. one rated their pain level as very high, i guess their epidural didn't go very well.

i think it was about 8pm when i was wheeled to a B class ward - free upgrade! my husband finally got to see me. he said he missed the baby as he went to the toilet exactly when they took the baby out to him. 

turned out i had postpartum preeclampsia - it causes high blood pressure and possible organ failure. but they couldn't confirm it until the next day after some blood and urine sample were taken. 

i stayed in hospital for 6 days with only 1 minor incident because my preclampsia wasn't that bad. phew. baby had to be observed for his jaundice and didn't get enough food for the first day due to my miscommunication with nurse, but otherwise he was fine and healthy too.

pregnancy photos at Haji Lane

 



wanted to capture my blobbiness at Haji Lane.

i was about 35 weeks pregnant. full term babies are in the womb for 40 weeks.


equipment:

- phone

- husband


effect: 

- slanted pictures


32 weeks and 4 days today - recap of my amniocentesis procedure at KKH

Things are progressing well... Baby is growing and bump is rather big! 

Gone through the amnio test and results came out fine. That seems like a lifetime ago... I last updated this blog in March. Well, on 1 April, I did the First Trimester Scan at KKH and the ultrasound showed that the nuchal translucency (NT) was high. Below is a reference pic of NT - the amount of fluid in foetus neck area. Mine was 3mm and combined with my age, they said I was high risk for Down Syndrome (DS).

Nuchal translucency scan | Certificates of competence | FMF ...


Of course I was horrified but a bit shocked and numb and even thinking that hmm okay I am prepared to abort if it's really DS... The KKH doctor provided consultation that interpreted the blood test results from two weeks ago and with these NT results, recommended that I can do an amnio or the Harmony DNA test since there is a high risk for a genetically/physically unhealthy baby. I knew I wanted to be sure of the results so I chose to schedule an amnio (amniocentesis) that will test foetus's DNA and 100% confirm if its DNA is okay. Harmony tests are 99% accurate since they extract foetus's DNA from mother's blood so I didn't want that. 

So on 16 April, I had to follow up with a scan of the foetus' heart to look for structural defects as a high NT is indicative of that too. In the days leading to that, I googled a lot of medical papers about high NTs and it seems like different countries have different tolerance ranges for what they deem high risk. Seeing the tables and lists of unhealthy and unfortunate conditions that babies ha and their NT was scary too. Explaining this to husband, parents, grandma was not easy, but luckily husband and I are on the same page on aborting. In the end, I don't think they got what a high NT meant anyway. To them, they are fine as long as the foetus is fine. If not, they left it up to us to decide.

It was a bit nerve-wracking during the heart scan, as it was same ultrasound lady that found the high NT. She is a serious and quiet person, and I saw her get mad at her colleagues for screwing up her records. The foetus internal organs were scanned, the skull and brain structure, length of bones, everything was checked. Then we waited to see the doctor for an interpretation of the scan. Thankfully, the scan results were okay. No abnormalities detected in the heart.

The amnio consultant was a lady with an American accent. She spoke slowly and patiently explained the procedure and all the genetic disorders we could have, such as DS, Turner syndrome, etc... The accent had a hopeful upbeat effect to her words, which softened the blow, because it carries a risk of miscarriage, since there will be a needle going near the foetus! The seemingly high miscarriage risk (1 in 200!) is rather scary when I googled it but seems like that statistic is outdated so doctors call it "low risk" now. We were given two choices, a standard chromosome check or one that is more comprehensive. Husband wanted to cover more bases so it was the comprehensive one which is like $500 more expensive? I can't remember. My amnio was to be on 30 April. But the procedure can be partially covered by Medisave and in the end, it was $706 out of pocket, with about $1.4k from Medisave (I have to check the records on that). The results would be out in 3 weeks, in time for the abortion window. The American-accent lady will call me with the results.

A Guide to Prenatal Tests and Scans | Health Plus


So 30 April arrived, the day of the amnio. I was rather sleepless the night before. Once at KKH, had to get a blood sample taken first from the monitoring dept, then I had to bring it up to the diagnostic dept where the procedure will take place. There was another ultrasound scan, this time was a young lady who was cheerful. There were a lot of measurements taken of the foetus head. Husband and I waited for our turn. It seems like there will be several mothers doing the procedure today too. I was a bit distracted and anxious thinking about the long long needle that would like to be poked through my skin, muscle, womb and amniotic sac... Husband noted that the doctor finally arrived, and a pregnant lady was called into the operating room, so we looked out to see her expression when she emerged. It was rather quick, according to him, as I was distracted again. I saw that she had no expression on her face and she went back to her waiting family without saying much. Okay, seems like what they say is true, it is a relatively painless procedure. Similar to an ant bite.

It was finally my turn. The doctor was KH Tan. I believe he came from delivering a baby as he seemed tired but he and his nurse were patient and spoke slowly so as not to spook me. I entered to small room and he asked if I knew what was happening today, and why we are doing this. He said in a soft tone, "Good" when I could reply. Iodine was applied after he located the foetus with the scanning device. I was surprised to see the actual length of the needle, and how fine it was. Like an acupuncture needle? How could it pierce through everything and not break? I could monitor the foetus position as well. He said the foetus position was good and found a pocket about fingers to the side of my belly button. He had one hand controlling the scanner and one hand with the needle and I looked away when they said "Take a deep breath". 

OMG. It hurt like a bitch. The stab was not ant bite level. It was like a sharp pain in my stomach muscles, like a stab. So the needle was in and I could see it on the monitor, and the foetus too. OMG the foetus is moving! I was scared but couldn't move of course. Doctor has to draw 30ml of amniotic fluid, taking about 20 seconds. Would the foetus hurt itself with the needle there? I was thinking about all this when the doctor said it went well and withdrew the needle, putting a plaster over it. Then he asked if it hurt. I said yes, to which he was a little surprised. 

I cleaned up the iodine with the help of the nurse and went out to my husband. I was a little high from the adrenaline rush and started joking with him about my stomach of steel hurting, causing laughter which was really really painful. I dug my nails into his hand describing the pain to him and he made me laugh some more which hurt like mad. We were rather noisy and I was a little scared why mine was painful and others seemed okay. We waited to pay by credit card - $706 - and had a form to note if any complications arose from the amnio, such as leakage, bleeding or fever. No lifting of anything allowed. But no bed rest needed either. 

Anyway. The pain was in my stomach muscles, not so much the womb or anything. I couldn't do much movement with the pain so I took it easy. It took about 3 days for the pain to go completely. And thankfully no complications. It was also the Circuit Breaker period (started on 7 April, ended in mid June) so we were all working from home, so I could chill.

On 11 May in the morning (8.20am?), I received a call from an unknown number on my phone and it was the American accent lady. I was groggy with sleep but also excited but nervous and scared of bad news. In my dark bedroom, I heard her say "Congratulations, the results found no abnormalities, and would you like to know the sex of the baby? It's a boy..." I thanked her and was very pleased in my heart of hearts. I told my husband, who was very happy too and weirdly confident that he had earlier predicted it would be a boy.

So that call was received on week 19 and now I'm at 32 weeks. A lot of baby things were bought and changes to my body happened. Baby name was decided and we are making space for our new housemate. I am always anxious and excited about the prospect of being a mother and about this new person I am bringing into this COVID-19 world, but I am still hopeful it will be all good. 


Saw the little blob in my womb

A quick post on what happened on 4 Mar... Went to KKH a little early, had to wait 2 hours. The doctor was Dr Ee at the fertility clinic. When we finally saw him, he was asking how long were you married, and when was your last period, he had a template in notepad that was full of questions he filled in the answers to. Then I mentioned oh my last period was 4 Jan but I think I'm pregnant, he was super surprised and quickly deleted the bottom chunk of his notepad text.
Why didn't you mention earlier to registration, because this is fertility clinic, now its something else, he said in a upbeat way.
This is a young doctor with the trendy shaved sides and volume on top hair. I guess he was happy to have a change in topic.
His nurse was a nice young lady who was helpful and patient in speaking to patients K follow ups.
She instructed me to do the pee test,which I did. That involved peeing in a cup then the nurse taking a dropper amount for the pregnancy stick. Then with the results, the main nurse arrange for me to go upstairs to do a scan. KKH is able to send your info off to different depts so I used my same queue number.
Thankfully it was ultrasound and the tech lady asked me to lie down and lower my pants to my hip line. The gel and ultrasound stick pressed into my public area and I saw the sac on the monitor overhead. Then she moved the stick around to check the size of the sac and also the blob inside with a computer line. She said this is your baby. Only one yah. Then she found a cyst but said the doctor will say about it. And she passed me a palm sized print of the blob which should be 8 weeks old. I was a bit happy that the blob was there and had a heartbeat which no one commented on. Haha mostly I was relieved but I didn't show much emotion on the blob though the lady seemed to expect more of a reaction from me.
Then the main nurse called me and said the doctor is free now, so you can see him now instead of waiting an hour.
The doctor was super glad and kept saying congratulations. I think he said that I will continue to see him until 20 weeks unless I wanted to change. Then he mentioned the vaccines to take and asked if I have questions. I said I didn't want to get a big cut during delivery to my butthole, I was concerned about that. Then he was like taking about Western ladies are bigger size and Asian ladies are smaller so the cut is needed not to get the baby out faster but to create a fault line that tears away from the anus. Hmm okay fair enough.
Then I got an mc for the day and prescription for folic acid and vitamins. My consultation for Downs syndrome testing was to be on another day since everyone was out to lunch. And I was too see the doctor again on 1 April.

Overall it was a pleasant experience except for the 2 hour wait when it seemed like ppl who came later went in first. But I think it maybe because they were regulars and waited elsewhere first.

What, me worry?

I thought of recording this before I get any news on 4 Mar. And yes, basically I'm in self denial because I'm worried. Worried that I may not have a baby in me after all.

After about 8 days of missing my period, on 10 Feb I peed on a Clear Blue stick. It showed two lines. Since that time in Dec when I "lost" a period (either didn't record it or it didn't come) and had an expulsion one month later (diarrhea and period blood), I started to seriously think I would have problems conceiving. We were trying since June 2019 but no luck, so in early Jan we went to the polyclinic to get a referral for a fertility check. It was at KKH, early March. Preliminary diagnosis : subfertility.

That's a long wait, I thought. But no matter.

COVID-19 came and it was a sad and worrisome time for everyone. But ever since I had my positive pregnancy result, I held a secret joy within me. This meant that I am suitable to conceive and didn't have to go thru any IVF... I showed the result to husband and he was pleased and relieved too, but I warned him not to our parents until the pregnancy was confirmed by a doctor. At my age and with my interest in reading up on things, I was cautiously optimistic at best that I was really really pregnant. Many things can and probably will go wrong, so best not to give the family false hope.

In the meantime I have not been idle. I have been experiencing morning sickness and general tiredness, sensitive boobs... And I joined a telegram group of expectant moms with the same due date month and have learnt a lot from reading what they have shared, especially the stories from second, third time moms. It's a nice group of about 50 ladies who freely share their thoughts and give support to one another. The group grows as more people find the telegram link in the motherhood forums, but sometimes, people leave too.

Today, a member posted her intention to leave, as she had seen a gynae who reported that she had a sac but no embryo inside. It had not developed.

My gosh, I thought. After 6 weeks of excitement and nothing to show for it?

I posted my condolences. Then about three hours later, I started to wonder, could this happen to me too? Would I need to leave such a message before leaving? My doctor appointment was almost two weeks away and I didn't want to go for a private consultation.

So I read about this empty sac and saw that you do get all the hormones that come with a pregnancy, but with no actual baby growing inside you. That means having the positive result, the morning sickness...

😱😱😱

So yes, I'm worried as can be.